I know that our love hasn’t met
But everything about you is hard to forget
The laugh, the speech, the smile, the meet
All of you has me on the edge of my seat

I can hardly wait each day to experience you
A longing that was gone the last I knew
But you’ve revived that essence of connection
Giving me hope once again to develop certain affection

Delivering a calm in the storm
Your very presence brings forth the warmth
An innocence long lost in this generation
The very elegance of rareness is within your foundation

Every aspect of you is of interest
That’s why this feeling of mine persists
An adventure awaits for us to learn more
I can hardly wait to encounter what’s in store



If they say life is a beach
Then girl let your love shine down on me
Like the glass of the sea
I want to create sparkles in your eyes for all to see
Giving you the warmth of the sand
While I forever embrace your hand
To provide a nudge in the right direction
Like the breeze that gives you a relaxed sensation
A time of paradise to uplift you to a peaceful destination
Leaving an impact on you like the tan in your skin


All you ladies who have guys call you sexy
Need to do a little evaluating before really connecting
Because they shouldn’t just want you physically
Nor just romance you emotionally or spiritually
They should appreciate the true beauty of your entire being
To be focused on learning you entirely
Seeking to commit to you fully before experiencing everything

But, that’s just me and my feelings

So many these days get caught in the array
Claiming they don’t have choices after choosing a few mistakes
Each day begins anew and time passes you by without a second take
So be sure to truly anticipate who it is you let in today
There’s never a guarantee on what will transpire
Just make sure that they have more than a single desire
Or else you may be left wondering how you are left in a wildfire

But again, that’s just me and my feelings

The physical is said to cause a chemical reaction
What stems in the brain though is a connection
All that you’ve learned and experienced are in correlation
Having many variables result in one thought or notion
With everything that comes into play in a decision
There shouldn’t be anything taken lightly when it comes to relations
So truly assess what each element is telling you and if the other person fits the suggestion

But sincerely, that’s just me and my feelings


I’ve waited waited and waited
But you’ve faded faded and faded
A distant dream of my memory
Now it doesn’t matter what anyone tells me

The notion of quality
With standards that are nifty
At long last, it’s almost as if
None of them no longer exist

They can’t be found, just like you
Someone who took my thoughts, or at least use to
Now left empty with nothing in sight
Alone at last through the night

No questions of wonder
No questions to put me under
No question of when or how
Just the answers of the here and now


The beauty you hold is the standard
That will always be my answer
Whatever makeup you decide or flow of the hair
All the other shapes, sizes, and styles can’t compare

You’re the one I hold dear
When we first started, to year after year
In case I haven’t made it clear
I want to be your love that’s always near

The truth is I want to protect and hold you close
I’m intrigued by the person you are beyond the clothes
I want to support your endeavors and be a part of your adventure
Keeping you encouraged and uplifted because you’re my treasure

To me it isn’t about your image because I see grace
The kindness you hold in your heart reflected by the smile on your face
Actions speak louder than words, so let me be your resting place
I’ll always prove that you’re safest within my embrace

There’s nothing we can’t do
You’re the one for me, I always knew
Each time you ask how you look
Again, there’s no one as gorgeous all around in my book


Grace fills the room each time you walk in
There isn’t another place I think I would’ve rather been
Each time I lay my eyes on you, time seems to rest
The moments and memories with you represent the best

I’ve been tested and tried, but each time you’re the one that shines
It wasn’t always easy to turn away from the ideas that were mine
However, with you… there is never a regret that enters my mind
You deserve the best from me at all times

You’ve made me a better man
You’ve saved me from the quicksand
When I’m lost, you’re always there to be found
With you, I’m never imprisoned by doubts

Our relationship isn’t something that is new
And even though times change, I’ll always love you


I feel as if I’m missing something
You said one thing, but act another
What is it that you’re really meaning
Am I distant from you or close like a brother

Confused with the notion in which you speak
Excited and love to see me, but have plans deterring
Parasitic it seems to me, like a one way street
Not much reciprocation in the effort of the meet we’re referring

I’m closed up at the aspect of going forward
The future holds uncertainty and our past plenty
What does the present define if there isn’t much to look toward
Should we call it quits as we part ways or keep interacting

The answers remain a mystery
The communication a conspiracy
The time falling away empty
The stress of it all unworthy

Would enjoy some clarity
Would appreciate some specificity
Would love some solidarity
Would like if your words and actions had some similarity

Analysis can be tricky
Hard to receive anything other than honesty
Considering I’ve been nothing but truth giving
I know the heart and mind are separate, but where’s the unity


(This was a verse I had written for a song in which I ended up scrapping because I took the song in a different direction)

I remember your scent, your touch
Was somethin’ I wanted forever girl
I loved you so much, so much
You invigorated my mind, it was a thrill

I came to be a better man by your hands
It was a delight, when you were in my sight
I was always glad we were more than just friends
I miss your intuition and your insight

Why did we part ways though, it all felt so real
I never wanted to live another day apart
Your love was all I wanted to feel
How did we get here after such a great start

The memories will be haunting me
I thought we had somethin’ great
You were my sunshine, my everything
I wish I knew the reason, to end this internal debate

Because without your presence I feel lost
I could’ve never imagined this life with you gone


When it comes to relationships I don’t play games
I don’t think it’s appropriate for any charades
I’m pretty clear with my intentions
However, these days the field doesn’t welcome a gentleman

Hard to go out and remain how I was raised
When everything these days appears to be a game
All kinds of different nuances, nothing is the same
Yet, some of my unique aspects still get praised

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never change
You’ll never see me become a scumbag
I’ll never fall into the category for the deranged
I’d rather surrender and wave the white flag

All too often I see unhappiness roaming about
Seeing some quality people facing great pains
As I move forward all I seem to view is doubt
When will society again see love experience a gain

So many lies and time spent looking at tape
Why not live a little truth and acquire something great
It’s almost as if this aspect of life needs to be reshaped
Redone… remade… so it can start with a clean slate

Hard to perceive what is to come
We all have free will, the choices of freedom
Can we escape the ridiculous plots we’ve made
Or are the discrepancies to deep to evade

The Protector

::The phone rings::

A man answers the phone.

Man: Hello
Woman: Are you busy?

Man: Not at the present moment, is there something you need?
Woman: I was wondering if you would come up to my room to talk, please?

Man: We’ve talked about things such as this before, it is not proper conduct.
Woman: Please, I can’t sleep and with my big day tomorrow I would like some answers.

Man: There is no reason that we can’t conduct a conversation elsewhere if you’d like to talk.
Woman: I will give you a week’s worth of your normal pay for a bit of your time.

Man: I’m not someone who is persuaded by money over my morals ma’am.
Woman: Please don’t call me that, I much rather you call me by my name after all we’ve been through.

Man: It is the professional courtesy that I’ve sworn to maintain during my time on this job ma’am.
Woman: So what will it take for you to help me at this time? I have so much running through my mind.

Man: You know that I’ll always be there for you, but this particular idea isn’t one that I find appropriate.
Woman: It is fine, I’m inviting you. The rest of the detail won’t think anything out of the ordinary.

Man: That’s not the point Ms. Snow. I’d rather not be alone in your room for my own reasoning.
Ms. Snow: It is typical for someone to check up on me and be around at varying hours.

Man: That’s not what I’m debating. It to me just doesn’t appeal to the correct way of doing things.
Ms. Snow: Please consider what it is I’m going through. I really would like a distraction to this whirlwind of thoughts going through my head.

Man: I don’t know what to tell you. I’m willing to continue on the phone or in another location outside of your room.
Ms. Snow: Being this late, I don’t want to draw any further attention by stepping outside of where I’m expected to be.

Man: So what is it you are asking for exactly?
Ms. Snow: All I want is to speak with you about times past to help lay these thoughts to rest. I’d like to thank you for all that you have done.

Man: This form of gratitude doesn’t involve anything sexual, correct?
Ms. Snow: I wouldn’t define it as that… no.

:: pause ::

Man: I’m not clear as to what you mean by that.
Ms. Snow: Amos, I promise that this matter doesn’t cross any of your moral boundaries. I would never put you into a situation that would alienate our relationship.

Amos: If I do come up there, we are keeping this strictly professional or am I mistaken?
Ms. Snow: This isn’t a typical matter, but does relate to our past. I would really just like you to trust me and meet with me.

Amos: *sighs* Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes.
Ms. Snow: Thank you, I’ll see you soon.

::They each hang up the phone::

Amos gets up out of his chair and buttons his suitcoat as he walks toward the door.
He opens the door and proceeds down the hall bypassing the other security detail on duty.
Amos arrives at the elevator as he pushes the up arrow.

Guard 1: How are you doing this evening Mr. Willins?
Amos Willins: I’m doing well Steve, I’ve just been called upstairs. On my way to see what the need is.
Steve: Glad to hear, I’ll talk with you later.

::Elevator arrives::
::Door opens::

Amos enters the elevator and presses Ms. Snow’s floor button.
He glances around with a look of curiosity and confusion.

::Elevator stops::
::Door opens::

Amos proceeds to walk out giving a smile and knods toward the other guards on duty nearby.

Guards 2,3 & 4: Good evening Mr. Willins.
Amos Willins: Gentlemen.

Amos continues down the hallway to the room that Ms. Snow is staying in.
He pauses for a second as he hears the slight sound of music through the door.
Amos then knocks.
Ms. Snow opens the door with a large smile on her face.

Ms. Snow: Glad you came! Please, come in.

Amos still unsure as to why Ms. Snow wanted his presence walks into the room and positions himself standing in the lounging area.
Ms. Snow follows in slowly behind him, taking a seat on the couch.

Ms. Snow: Please sit.
Amos: I’m fine right where I stand ma’am. Thank you though.

Ms. Snow: You said you would be there for me, right?
Amos: Yes ma’am.

Ms. Snow: Seeing as I’m not royalty nor am I your elder, if you would please for at least tonight… not call me that. Please, just call me Elaina.
Amos: Ms. Snow, if you remember this wasn’t my idea to come up here. I’m here as a sign of trust and to show you that I do care in helping you feel more comfortable prior to your big day tomorrow.

Elaina: That isn’t what I mean, I just want you to relax and not feel as if you are on the job for this.
Amos: When you’re involved Ms. Snow, I’m always on the job.

Elaina: *sighs* There are things that I’d like to know about that will require you to let down your walls a little bit.
Amos: What exactly are you referring to Ms. Snow?

Elaina: Please, for my sake… just call me by my first name Amos.
Amos: It may be better if I just refrain from speaking, my conduct to be respectful and professional is what has carried me this far. It is hard just to let that all go.

Elaina: No! No, that isn’t what I am implying or want at all. I just… I don’t want this to be of stress. These answers I seek and memories I have all involve you. I just feel with what tomorrow brings, everything will change. I don’t want to go on any further without letting you know how grateful I am. In doing so, I just want you to be relaxed or however it is you are when not around myself and the family.
Amos: I see. I can understand and appreciate that sentiment. However, it is hard for me to look at this situation any different than what it is I’ve been paid to do all these years.

Elaina: That makes sense, but please just allow me to inquire about our past. I’m curious as to some of the events that happened when I was younger. I know you’ve paid a great deal with the things you’ve gone through. I wanted to let you know that I am aware of those sacrifices and am very happy to have had you by my side through the tough times.
Amos: Thank you, Ms. Snow. I appreciate hearing that.

Elaina stands up and walks over to Amos.
She looks up at him and grabs his jaw to pull down so that she can look directly into his eyes.

Elaina: Please Amos, just call me Elaina for tonight.

Amos a little shocked by this action closes his eyes and knods his head in agreement.

Amos: Ok, Elaina.

Elaina smiles and hugs him as she has many times before.
Amos as usual doesn’t hug back.

Elaina: I’ve always been curious as to how you’ve constantly recovered after some of those situations you encountered. Was it hard to almost always be constantly recuperating?
Amos: It was, yes. However, it’s all been worth it to see you succeeding in the way that you are.

Elaina lets go of her embrace and takes a step back.
She is blushing and smiling.
She then grabs Amos’ hands looking down at the scars gently going over them with her own fingers.

Elaina: Were these from surgery?
Amos: It was a mixture of that and doing what was necessary to prevent the threats that were presented.

Elaina in a bit of shock takes a deep breath and has a concerned look on her face.

Elaina: How many more of these do you have? How much have you exactly suffered for my well being all this time?

Amos removes his hands from being held and puts them back behind his back to look her again in the eyes.

Amos: As I said… Elaina. It’s all been worth it to see you succeed.

Elaina has a tear run down her face
She raises her hand to her face and turns away

Amos: There is no need to cry for me. I knew the risks of this line of work when this journey began.

Elaina remains turned away with Amos a few steps behind her.
She continues to cry for a few more seconds as she tries to recompose herself.
She then turns back around dropping her hand away from her face.

Elaina: So you have no regrets of getting into this career, taking this job, or protecting me?
Amos: None at all.

Elaina: What was it that made you want to get into this line of work?
Amos: To put it simply, there were just some things I experienced growing up that strongly influenced me to tap into my protective instincts as a man. I never wanted to feel as if I couldn’t help someone in need. I never wanted anyone to feel as if they weren’t safe when I was around.

Elaina has a slight smile reappear on her face.
She steps closer to Amos again, putting her left hand on his shoulder.
Amos remains in eye contact with her.

Elaina: That is very interesting. I am glad that you went the route you did. If it wasn’t for you I may not still be here. There have been some very tough times and I couldn’t think of anyone who put forth more effort to ensure I was taken care of.

Amos then raises his view back up to look straight ahead in his normal form of stance.
Elaina lowers her head and removes her hand from his shoulder.
She begins to walk back and forth wrestling a thought in her head.

Amos: What’s wrong?

Elaina stops pacing for a moment.

Elaina: I have something more to ask of you, but I know you won’t be for it.
Amos: As long as it doesn’t cross certain boundaries of this arrangement.
Elaina: That’s just it, to me it helps give me answers to further help me understand or remember. To you though I can only imagine it being viewed totally different.
Amos: What is it that you are trying to ask?

Elaina approaches him slowly and reaches for the buttons on his jacket.
Amos then quickly grabs a hold of her hands.

Amos: I thought we had an understanding to where I could trust you.
Elaina: It isn’t what you think, please just trust me. I want to see the extent of what you’ve suffered for my wellbeing. I have the right to see what happened to you over all this time.

Amos still standing there with his hands grasping hers.
He looks down at his hands and back up into her eyes.
Takes a deep breath and looks up.
A few seconds later looks back down to her with a concerned look on his face.

Amos: Knowing you as long as I have you may not really be ready to see what it is you are asking for.
Elaina: It’s fine Amos, I’m not the little girl you first encountered all those years ago when we first met. We have been through so much together and I am now a grown adult. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think I couldn’t handle it.
Amos: This is against my better judgment, but I won’t willingly help you do this.
Elaina: What does that mean exactly?

Amos then let’s the grasp he has on Elaina’s hands loose.
He puts his hands to his side and looks forward once more.
Elaina looking at Amos a bit confused.
She reaches for his suit coat’s buttons once more.

Amos: I don’t think you really know what you’re in for here.
Elaina: Relax, this is something I have to see. After noticing your hands these last few years and recollecting the rough times we’ve been through. I can only imagine what else has happened to you that reminds you of those circumstances on a daily basis. We went through that stuff together, it’s only fair for me to see the results of your involvement.

Elaina removed his suitcoat and set it aside on the chair next to them.
She then loosened his tie and removed that as well.
She began slowly unbuttoning his shirt after that.

Amos: It doesn’t make me feel any more comfortable with you seeing the wounds. I’ll only allow you to see certain areas.
Elaina: I didn’t plan on over stepping my bounds Amos, just trust me.

Amos remains still as Elaina continues to unbutton his shirt.
As each button releases, his chest and abdomen begin to reveal.
She can start to see some of the remnants of wounds he’s endured.
Tears began to well up in her eyes again.
She untucked his shirt to reach the remaining buttons.
As she got to the last button, she paused for a moment to wipe the tears away.
Amos then whispers to her…

Amos: No need to cry for me Elaina, your safety is all that mattered.

Elaina has a slight smile as she closes Amos’ shirt for a brief moment.
Her eyes close as she pauses again.
She undoes the final button and pulls away his shirt.
The destructive canvas of surgeries, knife wounds, bullet wounds, and bruising appear.
Elaina then opens her eyes to view this for the first time.
She gasps and backs away slightly in surprise as Amos’ shirt falls away from his arms to the floor.

Amos: I told you, you wouldn’t be prepared for the reality of what it was you were asking to see.
Elaina: It is overwhelming, but I’m fine. The flood of memories comes pouring in to the times that you would have suffered these injuries. I can’t believe you would still want to continue on after what had to of been a plethora of agony.
Amos: It comes with the job, I’m honestly happy to have taken all of these upon myself so that you never had to endure at least one instance of this for yourself.

Elaina smiles again with tears continuing to run from her eyes.
She then steps closer to Amos reaching out to touch one of his scars.
The first scar she ran her finger along was just under his right collarbone.
She ran her finger slightly along what was a knife cut.

Elaina: Was this one from the time I was nearly taken during our family vacation at the beach in Italy?
Amos: That is correct.
Elaina: Wow, I remember being so young and seeing it happen right in front of me.
Amos: Yes, that was one of the unfortunate times where you had to actually witness the violence in such close proximity. I was saddened that you had to see such a thing.

Elaina continuing to let her eyes wander at all of the differing scars and marks.
She begins to walk around Amos slowly touching certain parts as the memories ran through her head.
Once she fully got behind Amos, she noticed some burn marks and a large stitching point on his upper back.
As she ran her finger along this wound, she remembered the point in time it occurred.
When her fingers ran the course of the scar she leaned in and kissed the wound.
Amos was startled and quickly turned to face her grabbing her shoulders, forcing an arms length distance.

Amos: What are you doing?! I thought we were clear on there to be nothing sexual.
Elaina: I’m sorry! It wasn’t anything like that, I just feel so bad that this happened to you. That particular scar was from the time we were caught in that building fire and you shielded me when the ceiling collapsed. My emotions got the better of me.
Amos: I remember.
Elaina: And… and… *crying begins*

Amos lets go of her as she puts her hands to her face.
He reaches down for his shirt as Elaina takes a seat in the chair next to her.
Amos sits down on the coffee table in front of the chair looking at Elaina.

Amos: I tried to tell you it was bad.
Elaina: It’s not the plain sight of your wounds. I just can’t believe you’ve gone through all of that pain and have always acted as if it hasn’t happened. I never noticed a change in your attitude or demeanor.
Amos: God is good, Elaina. God is good.

Elaina again removes her hands from her face to look up at Amos.
She smiles once more as the tears continue to fall.
Amos for the first time smiles back.

Amos: You’ve turned into a wonderful woman. Don’t let whatever doubts are running through your head deter you from pursuing your goals. I won’t allow them to hinder your success much like I haven’t let anyone or anything else harm you.

Elaina leans back in the chair.

Elaina: Thanks, you’ve always been there for me and I know I can always count on you. I appreciate you having come up here tonight, this is helping me deal with the panic attack I was having.
Amos: I am glad to be of help.

Amos then proceeded to go from scar to scar telling Elaina at what point in time he suffered the injury or got the surgery.
Each of the scars he mentioned were only from the times that he was being of service to her wellbeing.
She had varying emotions spanning from shock, elation, sadness, and happiness in hearing these stories.
Overall the explanations all lead to how Amos was able to overcome the pain and setbacks each and every time.
As Amos told the final story he looked over to the clock noticing the time.

Amos: It is very late, you don’t need to be too tired to enjoy your big day tomorrow.
Elaina: You’re right, time has flown by. I really appreciate you doing what you did for me here tonight. Hearing all of those stories and revisiting them with you finally gave me some closure to those events. For the longest time I was just struggling with them on my own and constantly wondering how it was you felt.

Amos: As time went on here tonight, I could see how much it meant to you. As I said prior, I’ll do anything to help you succeed. Even if that means revisiting some of those painful times of our past.
Elaina: This has been nice, I really enjoyed this time that we shared. Thank you again!

Amos smiled as he stood up to button up his shirt.
He tucked the shirt back in, while Elaina stood up from her chair to hand him his tie and suitcoat.
As Amos continued to put together his outfit.
Elaina just stood there watching him silently in awe of what this man has been through for her.
Once Amos completed buttoning up his suitcoat, Elaina immediately hugged him.
For the first time ever Amos embraced her in return.

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